I read to the bottom, but you know who didn't? Like 90% of the girls out there. Ever heard of TL;DR? Also, as is my gripe with most of these profiles. I don't know anything about you. Your profile is your chance to show your true self. I see you are truly sarcastic and long-winded, but that's about it.
To be fair... there was another two paragraphs underneath this horrible lapse of judgement. But, because of one sentence (and a fragment) I didn't bother reading the rest of it. There could be a nice guy hiding under there.
Let this be a lesson, men. Don't put your foot in your mouth right off the bat. If you're worth it, we'll forgive you for saying idiotic stuff like this, but you have to prove yourself trustworthy first! Can I get an "amen?"
Today I logged in, and a profile caught my attention. Imagine a John Krasinski type... tall, pretty handsome, great job, and a profile that shows that he is a fun-loving guy. Maybe a bit on the goofy side. The start of his profile has well thought out answers and no spelling errors. A diamond in the rough amid a desert wasteland.
Then we get to the question, "What is the first thing people notice about you?"
I personally think that first impressions are key. Online, this guy was doing a great job. But apparently in real life he doesn't do such a great job.
Puddle of vomit? Where is this coming from? Are you a big drinker who can't hold your liquor? Is this a goofy man's attempt at a joke? I'm missing the punchline. And I don't think John Krasinski would ever joke about vomit in the presence of a lady.
One thing I've noticed online is a lot of people keep their profiles very vague. This can be good, you don't want to give everything away, but your "About Me" section should contain something more than just "Ask me anything." If I'm going to go out of my way to message you, I need something to jump off from. No matter how good looking you are, a message consisting of "Hey." "What's up?" or "How was your day?" is never going to turn into a meaningful conversation. If you don't even know what I do for a living, how am I going to explain to you the details of my day?
This super vague answer gave me a weird feeling:
I don't care if you're speaking of your mom, sister, cousin, best friend, a teacher or your childhood dog. Just straight up answer the question! "This one girl" sounds an awful lot like an ex to me. It might not be, but then why phrase it that way? That doesn't make me want to ask about it, it makes me think you're hung up on someone else, and therefore not worth my time.
Weigh in: What do you think? Would this put you off if you read this in a man's profile?
Online, you get a lot more info right up front than you necessarily would if you meet someone in person. Bachelor #4 tells me up front that he is a professional hammock tester, complete with plenty of hammock photos.
I'm going to go ahead and assume this means he's either unemployed or unbelievably rich. On second thought... based on other aspects of his profile, it's not looking like the second option is the case.
But that's not even the good part. I scroll down to find out more about this guy, just in case he is independently rich or actually employed by Brookstone's hammock department. He had this to say about his hobbies:
Well... I guess this means we wouldn't be spending a lot of time out of the house together.
I think you're right Bachelor #4. These things will never overlap.
We're all familiar with Facebook and the gratuitous photos that girls take of themselves and post online. I went out of my way post photos on my profile that were flattering but not super flashy and definately not trashy. No sexy poses, duck faces, or bold clothes or jewelry. Just photos of my everyday self.
Now, I am a female, my everyday self does on occasion show a little cleavage. Tasteful cleavage, not Victoria's Secret ad cleavage. And my favorite necklace that I wear everyday happens to hang in that range also. Completely normal.
Don't underestimate the power that has over men though... as evidenced in this not so subtle and slightly creepy message I recieved.
The first step in my online dating journey was coming up with the perfect profile. I wanted to make sure I had a variety of pictures that really represented me, I filled out all the blanks and questions with care and thought, I even had my best friend proof read it and see if I needed to add or tweak anything. I thought I did a pretty good job, surely, this would attract the kind of man I've been looking for. Suddenly, I have a new message! How exciting... this could be the one! I open it... and see this.
Maybe this isn't going to go quite as smoothly as I thought...
So, I thought I'd tell you a little bit about me and why I'm starting this blog.
I'm 24 years old, and as I said in the little sidebar there, I live in "Neverland." I refer to it that way, because all the 20-something males in this town don't want to grow up. They're into partying and picking up girls for fun. After going through their run-around for awhile, I figured I might have more luck finding a guy online.
Because I don't want "A" boyfriend. I want "THE" boyfriend. I'm a little picky, but it has to be said... I'm a pretty good looking girl, not a dog. I'm not bitter. I've had good relationships, I'm not a forever-alone, virgin type. I don't hate men. I just find it HILARIOUS what some men think is acceptable to say/ do to pick up a girl. It's even better online because its there in black-and-white. They can't deny what they said.
Thanks to my screenshot button, I'm here to hold them accountable, hopefully help guys build better dating profiles, and give all us girls a good laugh!